Our first steps, first day of school, first date, first kiss, first job, first place of our own, first marriage, first child. All of our lives consist of firsts. As children we navigate the world with fresh eyes. We constantly depend on our caregivers, because everything is a risk. Then as teenagers, we dive in and engage in a lot of dangerous and risky behaviors. We let our emotions take the wheel – making mistakes, overindulging, getting in fights, embarrassing ourselves, seeking attention in all the wrong ways. This is how we begin to learn lessons on our own. The lessons continue throughout adulthood, if we’re still willing to make some mistakes. If we’re still willing to take some risks. When’s the last time you took a risk? Why did you take the leap? What made it worth the threat of failure? What lesson did you learn?
I used to love lounging on my roof as a child. It was entirely unsafe, but the gorgeous view of the mountains felt worth it. Sometimes it felt safer up there, knowing no one could reach me without extended efforts. I felt the adrenaline rush when teetering on the edge, smiling in the face of danger. I started doing this when I helped my dad at his construction job, at like 8-years-old mind you, desperately wanting to prove that my girliness didn’t make me weak. I wanted to be as brave as him. I would climb up the ladder and pass him tools or help him put shingles on the roof. I knew every step and every spot to balance on the roof of my 3-story home too. My father had us practice fire drills regularly, always prepared for the worst case scenario. Our house never caught on fire, but I dreamt about it all the time. Playing out the fire drill in my head to ease my anxiety, knowing I could parkour my way to safety if I had to. So the day my cat, Domino, leapt out of the window and scaled her way across our roof – I grabbed her right before she reached the edge. I wonder what made her so ready to risk it all? Maybe she was so set on chasing a bird that she didn’t even consider the danger. Maybe she wanted to prove something to me or herself. Maybe she was a thrillseeker, running on kitty levels of adrenaline. Or maybe I’m just overanalyzing, as per usual… I guess we’ll never know. Whatever it was, she knew that what she wanted was right outside of her comfy spot on the windowsill.
Dangerous roof-climbing analogy aside – we are here on this planet to grow and learn, to experience life, not to avoid it. Growth can only begin to occur at the end of your comfort zone. The biggest lessons I’ve learned required me making a complete fool of myself and I couldn’t be happier that I did. When faced with the unknown, a new adventure, you may recognize that deciding to leave your comfort zone is the first step. This is always the hardest part – those 20 seconds of insane bravery (yes, that’s a quote from We Bought a Zoo). Hesitation occurs and lingers as we lack confidence in taking the next step – weighing the pros and cons, based on emotionally-informed cognitive biases: a way of simplifying and processing our experiences of the world, a shortcut we take in decision making. In not taking necessary risks, we might be listening to cognitive biases based on the emotion of fear. Bravery is necessary to live, rather than staying stuck in a place that appears comfortable but is actually ruled by fear. Take those 20 seconds to push past fear and open yourself up to new lessons. It’s what we’re here to do. I believe in you!
Sources and other helpful links:
Psychology Today – Why Do We Take Risks
How To Deal With the Uncertainty of Life? – Sadhguru youtube
Rosemary Spirit 
